


red lights, rain & heartbeats

by Compulsory



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Reunited and It Feels So Good, everyone needs a hug tbh, kara can’t sleep without lena, lowkey inspired by drivers license, stronger together weaker apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Compulsory/pseuds/Compulsory
Summary: Kara and Lena were dating in secret prior to Lena leaving Kara in the Fortress of Solitude. After their breakup in the fortress Kara can’t put the supersuit back on because of the damage it has caused her. Lena and Kara learn to forgive one another and regain their lives back.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 212





	red lights, rain & heartbeats

_Three Months Ago_

_Kara woke up with a soft gasp as she felt cold hands wrap around her waist. Lena had moved so her chin was resting on Kara’s shoulder and her face was nuzzled in her hair. Kara smiled, the light thumping of Lena’s heartbeat easing her into a deep sleep._

_***_

Kara lay in bed staring out the window of her apartment. The pattering rain seemed to mock her as it mimicked the beat of Lena’s heart. Kara looked out into the night sky and tuned into the rain as she blocked out the noise from the rest of the world, and imagined Lena was still beside her. Red and blue crashed with the moonlight in the drops of rain collecting on her window. There was someone out there who needed help. 

She pulled herself out of bed and opened her closet. Her super suit hung, unworn in weeks. Kara traced her hand over the S. 

_“Do you remember when you finally told me you were Supergirl?”_

_“You were weeping”_

_“Big crocodile tears”_

_“Well I wept real tears, bitter tears over you weeks before”_

Kara shivered and a tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered the day her life fell apart. Why had she been so stupid, so selfish? If she had just told Lena earlier maybe she would still be okay, maybe they would still be okay. 

That day, that was the day Supergirl died. Kara may have still been alive, but the suit meant nothing to her now. _Kara_ was who Lena had loved. Putting on that suit just reminded her of the lies and deceit. Supergirl had ruined her relationship with Lena. So she thought if maybe she could just keep being Kara _just_ Kara, maybe Lena would come back to her. National City was fine without her before, they would be fine without her now. With J’onn, Nia, Brainy, and the DEO, National City was safe. 

Kara closed her closet door and walked over to the window. The police had already taken care of the situation. See, they didn’t need her. 

Kara missed the feeling of flying. Getting lost in the sky, feeling the wind whip in her face, helped clear her head. Maybe today was a good night to fly. If she could just slip out her window and hide in the clouds for a while, everything would be okay for just a little while. 

Kara opened the window and the drizzling rain hit her face mixing with the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks. She stepped forward on the windowsill and took a deep breath before jumping off into the sky. 

Kara flew. Red lights flashed by as she skimmed over the city. She passed buildings, making sure to avoid L-Corp, but she saw Lena everywhere. She saw Lena’s face when she passed by the CatCo building. She saw Lena’s face when she passed by Noonan’s. She saw Lena’s face when she passed by the gym. Kara went higher into the clouds. She closed her eyes blocking out anything that could remind her of Lena and just listened. The traffic was a cacophony of noises but the sound of a bus honking caught her attention. 

_“No, no, no that’s fine. I few here...on a bus”_

Kara smiled bittersweetly. That was the start of both her feelings and her deceit. That lie would start a snowball of emotions, they would keep building and building until it all exploded in her face. 

She tuned back into the traffic, but thoughts of Lena were flooding her mind now. The sound of the traffic was replaced by her laugh. 

Kara was sobbing now, but her face was dry. The wind this high up ripped the tears off her face. She needed to get out of here. 

Kara quickly made her way back to her apartment and found Alex sitting in her loft, the door of her apartment had been kicked open. 

“Kara, what the fuck?” 

Kara didn’t respond. 

“Kara, you can’t just go out flying anymore. You gave that up when you hung up the suit. You gave that up when you left the DEO. And you left your phone too?! Kara, you can’t be this reckless. Just come back to the DEO. Please?” 

Kara broke down crying. Her relationship with Lena had been quiet. They had really only just started dating before everything exploded in her face. Lena wanted it to be quiet while they got their footing together, and Kara respected that. So they told no one. When she came back from the Fortress in tears without Lena, she still didn’t say anything. When she told everyone she was quitting being Supergirl, she said the lying was too much and needed time. Because Supergirl would back, just not yet. 

It was easy to fake being okay with her friends. They still made her smile and laugh, they made it easier to pretend. If she was off everyone knew it was because she missed Lena. The days weren’t that bad. But the nights...she barely slept anymore. 

Her bed was as cold, dark, and empty as the Phantom Zone. Without Lena there to keep her out of the darkness she felt lost. Before they were even together Kara would tune into Lena’s heartbeat to help her sleep, but now it just brought pain. 

If she did manage to fall asleep her dreams were filled with nightmares. She would live through Krypton’s explosion over and over, she would watch Lena leave over and over. Her heart shattered into a million pieces every night. 

“Kara...Kara. Please, tell me what’s wrong.” Alex pleaded 

“I love her Alex. I love her so fucking much.” Kara sobbed.

“Oh, Kara. Is this about Lena?” 

“We were dating you know... before it all went down.” Kara let out softly

“It was all so new and exciting. I knew I had to tell her about Supergirl but I was so scared she was going to leave me. Eventually, it got so bad I was avoiding her. And Lena was so fragile I almost ruined it right then and there, but I told her. She told me that we were going to be okay because she loved me, she just needed a little time. A week later she showed up at my door, and life went on.” Kara explained and then cleared her throat. 

“Then, I took her to the Fortress of Solitude. And there she broke my heart because I broke hers. The rest, well you know the rest.” Kara said.

“Kara… Why didn’t you ever tell any of us?” 

“She always wanted the early stages of our relationship to be secret and I told her I would keep that promise. If we blew up she didn’t want the media to know. It was to protect us both. We did blow up, and no one found out. So I never said anything.” 

“That’s not all there is to it Kara is it?” Alex asked. 

“I thought...I thought maybe she would come back to me. If she came back, and she wanted to start over well, I couldn’t leave anything to chance.” 

“Then why are you telling me now?” 

“Because she’s never coming back. It’s been too long. I’ve lost hope.” 

“Kara. You are the physical embodiment of hope. Have you tried to talk to her since then?” 

“No, I don’t want to make it worse.” 

“Kara you won’t know if you have another chance if you never ask. Just think about it.” 

“Alright.” 

“Now why don’t we eat some ice cream tonight?” Alex said with a hopeful smile

“Sure,” Kara said as the corner of her mouth lifted, not quite a smile but getting there.

***

Lena stared out her office window. The donut shop was in view, and she half expected to see Kara walk out of the shop with an unholy amount of donuts, but she never did. Jess walked into her office and Lena jumped at the sudden intrusion. 

“I’m sorry Miss Luthor. I just came to let you know I’m heading home for the evening. 

“It’s all right Jess. Have a good evening.” 

Lena closed her eyes. If everything was okay Supergirl would have already landed on her balcony. The moment Jess opened the door Lena felt her heart spike in fear, that was always enough to bring Supergirl to her balcony. But Supergirl was gone. Lena opened her eyes, turned her chair back toward the window, and continued looking outside. 

The news had said Supergirl was on vacation, but Lena knew otherwise. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that the week after she left Kara in that fortress Supergirl disappeared. 

It seemed like Kara was grieving, but what did Kara have to grieve about? If she really loved Lena she would’ve told her earlier. Not made a fool of her. Not humiliated her. Not broken her heart. 

Kara made her let her guard down, made her open up, chipped away at her with her warmth and her earnestness. Kara was at fault. If Kara had just listened when she said she wasn’t looking for a friend then she wouldn’t be in this situation. 

Heartbroken. Alone. 

Lena’s eyes flicked from the window to her phone. Kara used to send her songs that made her think of Lena. Kara didn’t know but Lena would put them in a playlist, and whenever she missed Kara she would listen to them. Lena picked up her phone and clicked play. 

Clicking play was more than just playing something Kara made for her, it was admitting she missed Kara. Because despite how angry she was at Kara, she missed her. She missed her smile, her laugh, her hugs, her kisses. She missed their lunches and partnering up at game night. She missed when Kara would tickle her and then pick her up and throw her on the bed before leaving soft kisses all over her. She missed when she was working late and Kara would bring her a snack and some water, brush a stray hair from her face and plant a kiss on her cheek before going to bed. She missed every single moment with Kara. 

But Kara’s lies tainted everything. How much of their time together had been real? 

Lena stood up and walked over to her couch. 

_“I will always be your friend, and I will always protect you”_

_“Now you have someone that will stick up for you, always”_

Lena’s tears splattered onto the couch. Each one seemed to be screaming: lies, lies, lies, lies. 

Lena’s phone slipped from her hand, the screen cracked and the music stopped in her office. Lena needed air. She picked up her purse and left her shattered phone in front of the couch. 

Lena started heading towards the park in front of L-Corp. If she could just make it there she could rest and clear her head. Lena looked towards the ground while she walked. It was wet outside and the slickness would make it easy to slip in heels. Lena recognized the path she was on, she had taken it with Kara right before they really became friends. 

_“You’re taking an awful risk, going ahead with the renaming ceremony with your life in danger.”_

Thinking about the past was not what she needed right now. Faster. If she could just get to the park where her renaming ceremony had been she would have a space to clear her head. She turned and began walking through the crosswalk. 

Lena didn’t see when the light turned green. 

Lena didn’t see the car.

Lena was going to get hit. 

***

The credits to The Wizard of Oz rolled on the TV in Kara’s apartment, and the sisters sat in a comfortable silence until Alex spoke up. 

“What’s she like? If it’s okay for me to ask.”

There was a heavy silence as Kara contemplated if she should answer.

“She’s everything.” Kara said softly.

“When she gets excited talking about science her eyes light up so bright. It’s like looking into stars. She has these horrible t-shirts with science puns that she wears when she’s comfortable. If she gets tickled in just the right spot she laughs so hard, and Rao her laugh is just perfect. But there’s no sound as beautiful as her heartbeat.” 

“She sounds perfect Kara.”

“She was.” 

There was another moment of silence as Kara remembered her time with Lena. 

“Alex, can you do a favor for me?” 

“Anything.”

“Just hold my hand. I’m going to listen to her heartbeat again.”

“Okay.”

Kara felt Alex’s hand slip into hers and she began to tune out everything but the rhythm of Lena’s heart. 

Kara panicked. The usual calming thump of Lena’s heart was replaced with an erratic fast based beat. Kara had never moved faster in her life.

***

Lena felt like time was going in slow motion. She braced herself, the speeding car was going to hit her any second now. 

They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die, but all Lena saw was Kara. Not the good Kara, the one filled with lies. She saw every moment she had been backstabbed flash before her eyes. But now, faced with death, she pushed past the lies. She saw the genuine smile on Kara’s face when she walked into a room. She saw the way her eyes dilated before they kissed. She saw the way she slept with a smile on her face when Lena was right there next to her. 

She closed her eyes bracing for impact and whispered. 

“I’m sorry Kara” 

The impact never came, insead the she heard the sound of creaking metal infront of her. 

No, no it couldn't be. Lena opened her eyes to a bright red cape in front of her.   
  


“Supergirl?” she said in shock 

***

  
  


Kara was hesitant to turn around. She wishes she hadn't heard it. It would have made everything so much easier. But three words escaped Lena’s lips and now Kara was flooded with hope and tears. “I’m sorry Kara” Would those really have been her last words? 

“Let’s get you home safely Mrs. Luthor.” Kara said 

“Yes. Thank you Supergirl.” 

Kara landed on the balcony of Lena’s loft in a matter of a few seconds. She placed Lena down and turned to leave. 

“Wait.” Lena said

“Please. Don't go Kara.”

Kara hesitated, but there was nothing she wouldnt for Lena. She turned so she was facing Lena. Lena looked up at Kara and then down at the S on her chest before lightly tracing her fingers over the crest.

“If you would’ve asked me 20 minutes ago what I thought of this symbol I would tell you it's a symbol of lies. But now, now I can tell you it’s a symbol of second chances.” 

“Really?” Kara said voice shaking as Lena continued to trace the emblem on her chest. 

“Yeah. I almost died there and my biggest regret was not forgiving you sooner.” 

Kara wrapped Lena in a tight hug. 

“Will you go on a date with me?” Kara whispered in Lena’s ear. 

“Thursday?” Lena asked 

“Thursday.” Kara beamed.

  
  



End file.
